Wow, there certainly has been a lot of controversy in the news lately!
By now, you’ve heard about:
- The peanut butter recall…
- And the latest wacky Britney Spears stories (as Jimmy Kimmel said last night: “It looks like Britney Spears has decided to give up rehab for Lent”)…
- And, of course, JetBlue’s unfortunate chain of events which kept airline passengers in limbo for hours, which turned into days…
- Not to mention the 3-ring circus surrounding Anna Nicole Smith’s death right now…
What do all of these things have in common?
And what does this have to do with peanut butter, you ask?
Each of these things was alluded to in David Letterman’s Top 10 list on the Late Show last night.
(Granted, some were very loose correlations… but still.)
So here you have it, one of my favorite Top 10 Lists from David Letterman in years:
Top 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating Peanut Butter
#10 “If I die, will I stick to the roof of the coffin?”
#9 “Do I really want the word ‘chunky’ in my obituary?”
#8 “How can I get salmonella when I didn’t even order the salmon?”
#7 “Is this what killed the mummified guy in Long Island?”
#6 “Should I just stick with the tainted spinach?”
#5 (No number 5 — writer sick from bad peanut butter)
#4 “What would Britney do?”
#3 “Does Smuckers make an antibiotic jelly?”
#2 “What will my kids say when they learn their father was killed by Peter Pan?”
#1 “How can I blame JetBlue for this?”
Pretty good, huh?
UPDATE:
Jim says you kinda had to be there… it’s not nearly as funny in print as it was hearing Dave read through the list.
Check out the archives for Letterman’s Top 10 Lists. They’re new & improved… and searchable by keyword!
