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Top 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating Peanut Butter

Wow, there certainly has been a lot of controversy in the news lately!

By now, you’ve heard about:

What do all of these things have in common?

And what does this have to do with peanut butter, you ask?

before-you-eat-peanut-butter

Each of these things was alluded to in David Letterman’s Top 10 list on the Late Show last night.

(Granted, some were very loose correlations… but still.)

So here you have it, one of my favorite Top 10 Lists from David Letterman in years:

Top 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating Peanut Butter

#10 “If I die, will I stick to the roof of the coffin?”

#9 “Do I really want the word ‘chunky’ in my obituary?”

#8 “How can I get salmonella when I didn’t even order the salmon?”

#7 “Is this what killed the mummified guy in Long Island?”

#6 “Should I just stick with the tainted spinach?”

#5 (No number 5 — writer sick from bad peanut butter)

#4 “What would Britney do?”

#3 “Does Smuckers make an antibiotic jelly?”

#2 “What will my kids say when they learn their father was killed by Peter Pan?”

#1 “How can I blame JetBlue for this?”

Pretty good, huh?

UPDATE:
Jim says you kinda had to be there… it’s not nearly as funny in print as it was hearing Dave read through the list.

funny-peanut-butter-jokes

Check out the archives for Letterman’s Top 10 Lists. They’re new & improved… and searchable by keyword!